The Great Move
This weekend my anxiety level over moving in with my boyfriend increased after a long period where it was relativately low. Just to recap for everyone - I live and work in Orange County and my boyfriend lives and works in LA. With no traffic at all, we are roughly 45 minutes door to door. However, the only time there is no traffic is at 5 AM on Monday when I drive back home after a weekend at his place. With traffic, we are talking anywhere from an hour to two hours.
I value my personal time way too much to make that kind of sacrifice (i.e., move to LA with him and commute to OC). Obviously, a better choice is to find a job in LA and move. However, that is more difficult than it sounds. I actually looked quite hard for a job about a year ago and even had a few decent offers. However, when you are looking for a job change and you have the luxury of not having to find a new job, you tend to be very selective. Additionally, my employer is aware of my situation (the bf up north) and is very supportive. That is probably why they keep throwing some incentives at me to keep me around (work until x date and you will receive x additional dollars).
Every time this happens, I discuss the economics with my boyfriend and we ultimately decide that it makes sense for me to stick around and collect the money (maybe one day it can used toward the downpayment of a house). So, almost two years into the relationship, we continue to be a weekend couple.
Every once in a while it bothers the heck out of me. I see couples who have been together a shorter time than us buying homes together and that whole "keeping up with the Jonses" attitude starts to kick in. I start to question my relationship. If we love each other so much, why do we just not make this happen? Of course, when I take a step back, I realize what we have is good and we are making smart decisions and some sacrifice, which will hopefully only benefit us in the future.
I can only hope that our strategy is correct. I will collect a decent amount of extra cash at work, pursue a new job in LA sometime next year, watch the housing market drop (hopefully), and buy a nice little home in LA (from some poor soul that overextended himself during the great credit binge of 2004). All of this while ideally holding on to my condo in OC as a rental. It all sounds so simple on paper.....
I value my personal time way too much to make that kind of sacrifice (i.e., move to LA with him and commute to OC). Obviously, a better choice is to find a job in LA and move. However, that is more difficult than it sounds. I actually looked quite hard for a job about a year ago and even had a few decent offers. However, when you are looking for a job change and you have the luxury of not having to find a new job, you tend to be very selective. Additionally, my employer is aware of my situation (the bf up north) and is very supportive. That is probably why they keep throwing some incentives at me to keep me around (work until x date and you will receive x additional dollars).
Every time this happens, I discuss the economics with my boyfriend and we ultimately decide that it makes sense for me to stick around and collect the money (maybe one day it can used toward the downpayment of a house). So, almost two years into the relationship, we continue to be a weekend couple.
Every once in a while it bothers the heck out of me. I see couples who have been together a shorter time than us buying homes together and that whole "keeping up with the Jonses" attitude starts to kick in. I start to question my relationship. If we love each other so much, why do we just not make this happen? Of course, when I take a step back, I realize what we have is good and we are making smart decisions and some sacrifice, which will hopefully only benefit us in the future.
I can only hope that our strategy is correct. I will collect a decent amount of extra cash at work, pursue a new job in LA sometime next year, watch the housing market drop (hopefully), and buy a nice little home in LA (from some poor soul that overextended himself during the great credit binge of 2004). All of this while ideally holding on to my condo in OC as a rental. It all sounds so simple on paper.....
posted by The Random Gay Guy at 2:24 PM
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