On-Line Dating Fun!
I had some great email exchanges with a good friend yesterday regarding on-line dating. I adopted this form of dating fairly early on - utilized Planetout way back in 2000 (does Planetout even still exist?). Whatever the case, the internet has transformed dating - you can have a date every weekend as a result. I know - I often had two dates on the same day! What can I say.... Dating is a numbers game.
Anyway, my friend was freaking out a bit as he had emailed a cute guy on Match.com two days prior and the guy had not responded back yet. He was asking me my thoughts as I had related the story of my boyfriend and our meeting on Match.com a few years ago.
I must admit, to a degree, I loved on-line dating. It was like a supermarket of men and you could screen them anyway you wanted. I had certain "parameters" around my on-line dating. I was always very selective in regard to who I emailed (generally liked guys to email me first, but if you see something you like out there, you have to go for it). Be careful with how many emails you send out at any given time though as you do not want to be overwhelmed with responses.
I always envisioned a dating "pipeline" - at any given time there could be 0 to 10 guys in the dating pipeline. If the pipeline was empty, I would do an email "blast." In other words, I would log in to Match.com, spend an hour or so finding candidates and then send emails to each. As noted earlier, try not to do more than 5. Then, you sit back and wait for the responses.
This is what happened with my boyfriend. I remember the morning he first popped up on Match. If you are deep in the dating trenches, you become familiar with the guys who are out there. However, when a new guy pops up (and he appears to match your desires), you jump on it. Anyway, my boyfriend popped up one morning before I left for work. He was so cute in the picture - big smile, cool glasses, messy hair, and, Asian! I sent an email immediately. Four days passed..... During this time, I was sure that this great guy had met someone else and I was also sure that he was the perfect guy for me and I would never meet anyone else like this (even though I had not even met him yet)!
So, my friend was going through the same thing yesterday. I told him to calm down, take a deep breath, and just wait. Obviously, my boyfriend did email me back - it took 4 or 5 days, but it did happen. As I was relating this story to my friend, I also had one more tip on on-line dating that I will share here - this is excerpted directly from our email correspondence:
"I always found match to be the best. Of course, times have changed. However, you will note that if you list yourself on several sites, for the most part, it is the same guys on all the sites. I always fantasized about finding the untapped "mother lode" of perfect gay men in Southern California on a website. However, I think it is just a figment of our imagination.
What I do find so interesting is the number of guys who are still out there after all these years. I always found that, after three months or so of being listed, it was helpful to take a break for a month or two (pull down personal). Then repost after a certain period of time. In my mind, this showed that you were "dateable" - i.e., everyone must think that you entered into some type of quasi-serious relationship during the period - and for those who entered the dating pool while you were gone, you were "fresh meat." The person who is on there for a year straight - always made me wonder what is wrong with them......"
Anyway, just thought I would share some of these thoughts - a bit rambling, but hey, it is Friday after all.....
Anyway, my friend was freaking out a bit as he had emailed a cute guy on Match.com two days prior and the guy had not responded back yet. He was asking me my thoughts as I had related the story of my boyfriend and our meeting on Match.com a few years ago.
I must admit, to a degree, I loved on-line dating. It was like a supermarket of men and you could screen them anyway you wanted. I had certain "parameters" around my on-line dating. I was always very selective in regard to who I emailed (generally liked guys to email me first, but if you see something you like out there, you have to go for it). Be careful with how many emails you send out at any given time though as you do not want to be overwhelmed with responses.
I always envisioned a dating "pipeline" - at any given time there could be 0 to 10 guys in the dating pipeline. If the pipeline was empty, I would do an email "blast." In other words, I would log in to Match.com, spend an hour or so finding candidates and then send emails to each. As noted earlier, try not to do more than 5. Then, you sit back and wait for the responses.
This is what happened with my boyfriend. I remember the morning he first popped up on Match. If you are deep in the dating trenches, you become familiar with the guys who are out there. However, when a new guy pops up (and he appears to match your desires), you jump on it. Anyway, my boyfriend popped up one morning before I left for work. He was so cute in the picture - big smile, cool glasses, messy hair, and, Asian! I sent an email immediately. Four days passed..... During this time, I was sure that this great guy had met someone else and I was also sure that he was the perfect guy for me and I would never meet anyone else like this (even though I had not even met him yet)!
So, my friend was going through the same thing yesterday. I told him to calm down, take a deep breath, and just wait. Obviously, my boyfriend did email me back - it took 4 or 5 days, but it did happen. As I was relating this story to my friend, I also had one more tip on on-line dating that I will share here - this is excerpted directly from our email correspondence:
"I always found match to be the best. Of course, times have changed. However, you will note that if you list yourself on several sites, for the most part, it is the same guys on all the sites. I always fantasized about finding the untapped "mother lode" of perfect gay men in Southern California on a website. However, I think it is just a figment of our imagination.
What I do find so interesting is the number of guys who are still out there after all these years. I always found that, after three months or so of being listed, it was helpful to take a break for a month or two (pull down personal). Then repost after a certain period of time. In my mind, this showed that you were "dateable" - i.e., everyone must think that you entered into some type of quasi-serious relationship during the period - and for those who entered the dating pool while you were gone, you were "fresh meat." The person who is on there for a year straight - always made me wonder what is wrong with them......"
Anyway, just thought I would share some of these thoughts - a bit rambling, but hey, it is Friday after all.....
posted by The Random Gay Guy at 10:22 AM
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